The Grand Duke ’14
Sung to the tune of “By the Mystic Regulation”
Ludwig’s song from Act I
Written by Holly Windle
Performed by Waldyn Benbenek, accompanied by a chorus including
Stephen Hage, Julia Knoll, Tamara Titsworth and Felix Aguilar Tomlinson
Soloist:
By some mystic regulation
Of theatricalization,
Kindly stop your conversation.
Errant chat we can’t condone.
Please turn off your mobile phone!
Chorus:
Please turn off your mobile phone!
Your mobile phone!
Soloist:
If a call comes from your mother,
Or an e-mail from your brother,
Or a text from any other,
Please just leave the thing alone.
Don’t upset the baritone.
Chorus:
You’ll regret if you upset the baritone!
Soloist:
It’s a most ill-mannered habit,
Which could make us rather rabid.
If it rings, you might just grab it,
So we speak without disguise:
We’ll stamp on it till it dies.
Chorus:
Stamp upon it, stamp upon it till it dies.
Soloist:
And as we’ve been long rehearsing,
Interruptions start us cursing.
And back home, you may need nursing
If we hear your ringtone’s cries.
Our offended tempers rise!
Chorus:
Yes, at these distracting cries
Our offended tempers rise!
Yes, yes, Our offended tempers rise! Our tempers rise!
All:
By some mystic regulation
Of theatricalization,
We do not like a conversation
When we’re acting in the zone.
Just turn off your mobile phone!
Just turn off your mobile phone!
Turn off your phone.
A phone, a phone, a phone, a phone, a phone, a phone,
Turn off your phone.
A phone, a phone
Turn off your phone.
Turn off your phone.
Sung to the tune of “Come Hither All You People!”
Ludwig and Rudolph’s song from Act I
Written by Holly Windle
This alternative cell phone song was not used in our production.
Rudolph:
Now listen, all you people,
Ere the show gets underway.
Ludwig:
Those who nod and fall asleep’ll
Disappoint us, but okay.
Both:
And we’ll feel a little bitter
If you start to text or twitter.
Rudolph:
But what brings us close to vi’lence
Ludwig:
Is when cellphones break their silence.
Rudolph:
For these small hand-held devices
Ludwig:
Can precipitate a crisis.
Both:
Turn them off without delay.