No, there is not a long lost Gilbert and Sullivan operetta titled Minnesota Public Radio, for which the Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company has written clever alternate lyrics!  There is, however, the institution of Minnesota Public Radio, of which most of the Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company are members and to which all listen.

In the spring of 1996, members of the Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company appeared on the Morning Show, with Dale Connelly and Jim Ed Poole, promoting their current production of The Mikado.  Their appearance happened to coincide with Minnesota Public Radio’s spring Pledge Week.

In order to assist Minnesota Public Radio in their gallant efforts, Holly Windle wrote three alternate lyric songs.  The songs were sung during the Morning Show, but were also recorded and played throughout the rest of Membership Week.

The first alternate lyric was sung to the tune of “Three Little Maids from School” by Maria Jette as Yum-Yum, Kathy Hering as Peep-Bo, and Mary Gregory as Pitti-Sing, with other members of the company.

Three Little Maids:

Members of MPR are we,
Proud of the station’s quality,
Fans of the music, glad to be,
Members of MPR!

Yum-Yum:

No loud commercials to bewail.

Peep-Bo:

I listen nightly without fail!

Pitti-Sing:

I only like Jim-Ed and Dale!

Three Little Maids:

Members of MPR!

Three little maids who like this station,
Take on a list’ner’s obligation,
Call up at once, no hesitation,

Members of MPR!
Members of MPR!

Yum-Yum:

Pledging is easy, and quickly done.

Peep-Bo:

Pleasant and painless, it’s almost fun!

Pitti-Sing:

Then have your name read to everyone!

Three Little Maids:

Members of MPR!

Yum-Yum:

I use a credit card to pay.

Peep-Bo:

I am a sponsor for a day!

Pitti-Sing:

Memberships make good gifts, I say!

Three Little Maids:

Members of MPR!

Chorus:

Members of MPR!

Three little maids who like this station,
Take on a list’ner’s obligation,
Call up at once, no hesitation,
Members of MPR!
Members of MPR!

The second alternate lyric was sung to the tune of “The Flowers that Bloom in the Spring” by Joe Andrews as Nanki-Poo, Scott Benson as Ko-Ko and Maria Jette as Yum-Yum.

Nanki-Poo:

The telephones merrily ring, tra-la,
The pledges begin to arrive.
As we merrily dance and we sing, tra-la,
We welcome the hope that they bring, tra-la,
Of a glorious membership drive,
Of a glorious membership drive.

And that’s what we mean when we say that a thing
Is welcome as members that make the phones ring.

Tra la la la …

Ko-Ko:

The phones that so merrily ring, tra-la,
Do nothing but set me on edge,
No matter how nicely you sing, tra-la,
For I’m a curmudgeonly thing, tra-la,
Who would much rather grumble than pledge,
Who would much rather grumble than pledge.

And that’s what I mean when I say or I sing,
“Oh, bother your pledge drive, you silly old thing!”

Tra la la la …

Yum-Yum:

The phones that so merrily ring, tra-la,
Are listeners very like you.
So be a curmudgeonly thing, tra-la,
The critical ear that you bring, tra-la,
Will make you a member most true,
Will make you a member most true.

So do the expressive, expedient thing
By joining the members who joyfully sing:

Tra la la la …

The third alternate lyric was sung to the tune of “I Am So Proud” by Waldyn Benbenek as Pooh-Bah, Scott Benson as Ko-Ko and Joe Andrews as Pish-Tush.

Pooh-Bah:

I am so sure
I can’t endure
The guilty sin
Of listening in.
So I will pay
My share today.
My call goes through 
In a minute or two.
No shame or fear,
With conscience clear,
The time is here,
My phone is near,
My phone is near.

Ko-Ko:

This time of year
Again we hear
Announcers crow.
The radio, the radio,
Wants me to join
And send my coin.
It isn’t hard
By credit card,
Now every dime
Is buying time
For sounds sublime
And music prime.

Pish-Tush:

I heard one day
The radio play
Some marvelous piece,
A new release.
I liked the style,
It made me smile,
So there’s no doubt,
No doubt
I’ll help them out.
I will not hedge,
I’m over the edge.
A privilege
To send in my pledge.

Ko-Ko:

And so, although
I’m not made of dough,
I heed the hail
And will not fail.
Let right prevail,
They’ve made a sale;
I will not quail,
So here’s the kale.

Pooh-Bah:

And so, although
It’s quid pro quo,
I can’t delay
Another day;
I must allay
My guilt this way.
It’s just fair play,
So I will pay.

Pish-Tush:

And go and show
Both friend and foe,
I value it.
I must admit
When they transmit,
I benefit.
It’s definite,
I will do my bit.

All:

To call the noted number when you hear the plea,
And pay with pride a portion like a user’s fee.
It’s certainly so simply any sap could see,
If you like to listen, then a member you should be!