Our company’s staging of Utopia, Limited, in 2008, was a wonderful success, due, to a large extent, to the substantial revisions our company had made to the operetta.

The following alternate lyric, written by Holly Windle and sung to the tune of “Society Has Quite Foresaken All its Wicked Courses,” detailed and celebrated those revisions. It should be noted that the song makes passing reference to Lesley Hendrickson, our Stage Director and Marina Liadova, our Music Director for this production, as well as a reference to what was our pending 2009 production of Ruddigore.

It was performed at that show’s Last Gasp Cast Bash, by Waldyn Benbenek, accompanied by a chorus which included Timothy James, Jim Ahrens, Isaiah Waid, Victoria Valencour, Stephen Hage, Jim Brooks, Dave Ekenrode and Richard Rames.

King Paramount:

Society has not forgotten Pirates or Mikado,
And grade schools tackle Pinafore with laudable bravado.

Chorus:

But very few have taken on Utopia.

King Paramount:

We did it twenty years ago; it wasn’t quite successful.
Some tunes we loved, but on the whole, long-winded and too stressful.

Chorus:

It’s a problem with unwieldy old Utopia.

King Paramount:

The Company continued to produce the shows selected,
But one in the rotation was avoided and neglected,
Until we faced the problem and addressed the script concretely.

Chorus:

In short, the rewrite process has transformed the show completely
Completely, completely.
It really is surprising
What revising and excising
Can accomplish: our Utopia’s quite another show.
In her fascinating sections,
You can see the fine corrections
We have beautifully crafted for the world to know.

King Paramount:

We set about it logic’ly, not slashing willy-nilly.
A song of Paramount’s was cut – unpleasant, poor and silly.

Chorus:

No silliness allowed in our Utopia.

King Paramount:

The long first act finale we have suitably bombarded,
For Blushington’s a woman now and Dramaleigh discarded.

Chorus:

That’s progress for our “Flowers” in Utopia.

King Paramount:

The work of clever editing was handled by committee,
Who cut a lot but also added lines succinct and witty.
So doing the original means singing obsoletely.

Chorus:

In short, the rewrite process has transformed the show completely
Completely, completely.
It really is surprising What revising and excising
Can accomplish: our Utopia’s quite another show.
In her fascinating sections,
You can see the fine corrections
We have beautifully crafted for the world to know.

King Paramount:

We rearranged the second act, which used to rather bore us,
And started off with something that’s delightful for the chorus.

Chorus:

And Lesley helped a bit with the direction.

King Paramount:

The score revised, we labored then to print it and prepared it.
The orchestra and cast performed with noticeable merit.

Chorus:

And Marina strived to bring it to perfection.

King Paramount:

And Lesley kept us all in line. She says, “You little dickens!”
Whenever we display our not-so-intellectual chickens.
If one appears in Ruddigore, it better be discreetly.

Chorus:

In short, the rewrite process has transformed the show completely
Completely, completely.
It really is surprising
What revising and excising
Can accomplish: our Utopia’s quite another show.
In her fascinating sections,
You can see the fine corrections
We have beautifully crafted for the world to know.

The theater can be a magical place!  The Company’s 2008 production of Utopia, Limited, for example, transported its audience to a lovely tropical island, with its set of palm trees and beach sand, and a barefooted cast, dressed in sarongs.  The reality for the cast members, however, remained the fact that it was the dead of a Minnesota winter outside and the concete floored dressing rooms and backstage areas were poorly heated!  The following alternate lyric song, sung to the tune of “Eagle High,” celebrated our Company’s endurance of a cold reality for the sake of the warm illusion created on the stage.

King:

This ceremonial our wish displays
To copy all Utopia’s primitive ways
Our health we risk this accomplishment to do
We’ll gloriously catch cold or die of flu

Chorus:

Concrete floor is very chilly
Carpet is so cozy warm
Slippers help, though sometimes silly
Cute ones add a certain charm
Though the costume’s rather skimpy
Do not shiver, don’t be wimpy
Our teeth chatter as we sing
Au-di-ence won’t know a thing

Stories, stories
There’ll be stories to be told
How we acted in the cold
How barefoot we did go
When the temp was ten below
They’ll get better as we age
Snow was falling on the stage

The following alternative lyric song was written by Jim Brooks, who played with Captain Sir Edward Corcoran, KCB’s, song and knighthood title to describe someone who is something of an American icon.  Jim sang the song himself at the Company’s 2008 Last Gasp Cast Bash.

Good friends, I now present
Kentucky’s favorite son.
Whose franchise rates as number one!
He’s known from coast to coast,
And if you’re baffled, you are not alone.
I know with you, he has to pick no bone!

I’m Colonel Sanders, KFC. 
I fry my chicken up real crispy,
And serve it with a side of slaw.
You eat enough, you won’t stay svelte.
On chicken diets, pounds won’t melt.
You’d better loosen up your belt,
When eleven herbs and spices call.
We’ll take your cash or credit cards,
When placing orders try real hard,
Repeat yourself and then repeat some more.
Although we heard the words you spoke,
We know that you can take a joke. 
You ordered Sprite and got a Coke,
But we’ll never fry a hen for sure.
(At this point. Jim produced the GSVLOC chicken).

While most members of the Company would consider themselves enthusiastic Anglophiles … we are also proud to be Minnesotans who can enjoy and celebrate the many wonders of our great and glorious state … primary among them is, of course, walleye fishing!

The following alternative lyric song was sung by Waldyn Benbenek and the entire Company, to the tune of “Eagle High,” at the 2008 Last Gasp Cast Bash.

This ceremonial our wish displays
To copy Minnesota’s sporty ways.
Though lofty aims catastrophe entail,
We’ll gloriously succeed or nobly fail!

Walleye nigh in waterland swimming,
Minnow glittering on a lead.   (leed)
Bobber on the water skimming,
Frozen prawn in grocery feed.

Let the walleye, not the minn’r,   (minnow)
Be the subject of your dinner.
Fix the bobber with your eye,
Pass the prawn in city by.

Glory then will crown the day,
Glory, glory, anyway!

While the alternate lyric songs sung at the Company’s Last Gasp Cast Bashes are often full of inside jokes about the production, the Company also has something of a tradition of current political satire.  One such song, sung to the tune of “I’m Captain Corcoran, K.C.B” was a bit of pointed sarcasm as the expense of Russia’s President Vladimir Putin.

I’m V.I. Putin, KGB. And if you disagree with me, I’ll throw you in a Russian jail.
For Mother Russia’s oil and gas
Will make me rich, will be a blast,
Especially for the Slavic male.
If you like my democracy
Just wait for my autocracy.
I’ll tell you something that is rather plain.
‘Cause I’m no longer poor and broke
My money gives me lots of stroke
With Khodorkovsky in the poke
I’ll never have to run again.
What never?
Not never.
What never?
Truly never!
He’ll never have to run again!
Then give three cheer’s and three cheers plain for the man who’ll never have to run again.
Then give three cheer’s and three cheers plain for he’ll never have to run again.
All hail, all hail. Oh man of Russia’s power.
The unenlightened band.
We’ll rue the day and rue the hour that put him in command.

While it might seem easy to point barbs at the dictatorial leader of another country, the then current President of the United States had some alternate lyric mockery pointed in his direction too.  This song, sung to the tune of “A Man of Autocratic Power, We” served as the company’s “tribute” to President Bush.

A man of democratic power he, a leader who’s inclined to bend the law.
Who eavesdrops on us with impunity, and treats our constitution like a straw.
And though the awe that he inspires is second to his own desires,
He plays the presidential game.
And while his friends all freely hoard,
He’s very sure to waterboard
All prisoner he wants to name.

Yes, yes he’s sure to waterboard all prisoners you want to name.

Eight years in office haven’t been so good, economy is just about to crack.
Instead of spending on the neighborhood, he spends our dollar all to build Iraq.
And as it is his Royal whim to keep Dick Cheney near to him,
His Halliburton friends all cheer.
To judge him by his actions bold
Will make most people’s blood run cold
Thank God it’s only one more year.

Yes, yes, he makes our blood run cold, thank God it’s only one more year.

Along with the cast and crew, members of the orchestra also enjoy contributing to the alternate lyric concert, celebrating their contributions to the production.  The following alternate lyric song was sung to the tune of “O Make Way for the Wise Men.”

O make way for the orch’stra!
They are bowers, beaters, blowers,
The world’s biggest blaring om-pa-pa-pas!
For tho’ lovely is each player (one nay-sayer)
They have no note that matches when they play together!
They’re the pride of Utopia. Cornucopia of rhythm,
Each tapping a cacophony.
O they never make blunder,
And no wonder,
For their leader beats with glaring furiousity.
So make way for the chorus, they implore us,
No surprises when they sing in their own time.
For tho’ lovely is the orch’stra, bowers, beaters, blowers.
No one can catch them as they are so fine!