Iolanthe
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This alternate lyric song was written by Holly Windle and sung to the tune of “Spurn Not the Nobly Born,” in tribute to our volunteers and the hours they spent, gluing “jewels” and “ermine” on the peer’s crowns for our 1992 production of Iolanthe. It was performed at that show’s Last Gasp Cast Bash by Tom Barth and the men’s chorus. This “classic” alternate lyric song was also performed at the company’s 2016 Last Gasp Cast Bash by Eric Mellum and the men’s chorus, with slightly revised text. While the costumer handled the crown construction for this production, the company members used glue guns to build the fairy wings. “Prop construction” was changed to “costuming construction,” “crown production” became “fairy wing production,” and “attaching jewels and bead” became “attach the wire it needs.” Otherwise, the song remained as originally written. This song was performed again at the company’s 2025 Last Gasp Cast Bash, sung by Andrew Peterson and the men’s chorus, with slightly revised texts. Once again, the song became one about “costuming construction” as company members used glue guns to attach decorations onto the fairy costumes. “Crown production” became “fairy bling production,” and “attaching jewels and beads” became “attaching bubbles and beads.” Otherwise, the song remained as originally written. Spurn not the simple joys For whatever reason, “Spurn Not the Nobly Born,” seems to be a song which inspires alternate lyrics more than any other! Jonathan Flory used the song for two alternate lyric songs that he wrote for the 2025 Last Gasp Cast Bash.
The first of his alternate lyric songs, written with help from Trevor Woggon, was a tribute to Andrew Peterson, a member of the Peers chorus who had some challenges with his costume pants during the production. It was sung by Andrew and the men’s chorus.
I am a thespian, a wonder to behold
But there’s one incident that makes my blood run cold
My cast mates often jest
Of ample cheeks I’m blessed
That causes fabric stressed
Beyond its threshold,
Split pants, Split pants
When hamming up my part,
Across the stage I dart,
My seams oft rip apart!
Split pants! Ah, split pants!
Night after night I play to rapturous ovation
Dazzling each audience with rarified dictation
But in my troubled mind
No solace do I find
Frightened that my behind
Will cause frustration
Split pants, Split pants
When hamming up my part,
Across the stage I dart,
My seams oft rip apart!
Split pants! Ah, split pants!
Chorus:
When hamming up his part,
Across the stage he darts,
His seams oft rip apart!
Split pants! Ah, split pants!
Jonathan Flory’s second alternate lyric song, sung to the tune of, “Spurn Not the Nobly Born,” at the 2025 Last Gasp Cast Bash, was a tribute to the Peers’ fairy wings. The wings, designed with a hard wire base, and gauze stretched over piano wire, have been used by the company since its 1992 production of Iolanthe, in 2004, 2026, and again in 2025. They are extraordinarily effective and appear at the right moment in the Act II Finale, as if by magic, to our audiences’ surprise and delight.
Each time a show is sung with peers and fairy
And twist of fate is sprung so both parties marry.
Changes we do not dare, we use same old fare,
Leads to a tale to share that’s cautionary.
Trick wings, trick wings!
When pinning on the back,
And showing quite the knack,
To you the peerage clings!
Trick wings! Ah, trick wings!
Act Two has but one rest to pin them on securely
For it’s full time invest in dressing room obscurely
Flat on the back adhere, carefully with pin spear,
Lest fairy wings appear too prematurely!
Trick wings, trick wings!
When pinning on the back,
And showing quite the knack,
To you the peerage clings!
Trick wings! Ah, trick wings!
Chorus:
When pinning on the back,
And showing quite the knack,
To you the peerage clings!
Trick wings! Ah, trick wings!
Jonathan Flory branched out to write alternate lyric songs for the 2025 Last Gasp Cast Bash to other tunes besides “Spurn Not the Nobly Born,” including the Act II Finale, “Soon as We May.” This song celebrated the Company’s tradition of comradery and celebration at Company parties after the shows, especially at the final company party or Last Gasp Cast Bash. Sung by Therese Kulas, Hannah Pantano, Lara Trujillo, Eric Sorum, Andrew Peterson, and Scott Gorman, along with the full Company, the song also referred to the Company’s upcoming production of The Yeomen of the Guard.
Phyllis:
Put on a show, then we all go,
To someone’s abode most hearty
Closer are we, from our shared glee
Ev’ry one enjoys a party!
Phyllis, Iolanthe, Fairy Queen:
Ev’ry, ev’ry, ev’ry, ev’ry one enjoys a party!
Tho’ as a gen’ral rule we know,
Throw a party after show,
This is the secret legacy
Of the GSVLOC!
All:
Tho’ as a gen’ral rule we know,
Throw a party after show,
This is the secret legacy
Of the GSVLOC!
Lord Chancellor:
Our final bash, lyrics we mash,
Making amusing commentary.
Jean at the keys, we sing in threes,
Dressing up for times most merry!
Lord Chancellor, Lord Tolloller, Lord Mountararat:
Merry, merry, merry, dressing up for times most merry!
Our Iolanthe was a treat,
Ending our run is bittersweet,
Until next year when we’ll convene,
Yeoman will be our next big scene!
All:
Our Iolanthe was a treat,
Ending our run is bittersweet,
Until next year when we’ll convene,
Yeoman will be our next big scene!
Gilbert named his character “Strephon,” using a traditional name for the male lover in pastoral poetry, as had poets in the past, including Jonathan Swift and Sir Philip Sidney. While there is a literary precedent for his having done so … still, the name does strike modern audiences as a bit unusual. Jim Brooks had some fun with the character’s name in the following alternate lyric song which he wrote for the Company’s 2004 Last Gasp Cast Bash. The sung was sung by members of the Company to the tune of “The Lady of My Love.” This song was sung again by members of the Company at the 2025 Last Gasp Cast Bash. The names of Strephon’s brothers and sisters were updated, of course, to include members of that production’s cast.
Strephon Hello! My name is Strephon and there isn’t any other! Peers Oh My! Is Strephon a strange name! Strephon I know my name is odd, but it was given by my mother! Peers It’s a riddle. Tell a little more we say! Strephon My mother uses extra “R’s” in names that she has given. Peers (laughing) Tell a little, tell a little more today! Fairy Queen (sternly) It’s cruel to make fun of Streph’, his sisters and his brothers. Fairies That’s right! Our Strephon’s not so strange! Fairy Queen It’s not their faults they have such names, it really is their mother’s! Fairies Tell a little, tell a little more we say! Lord Chancellor There’s Mratt and Droug and Rarron and Reric who are his brothers’. Chorus Whew! Oi Vai! Lord Tolloller All I say is “What’s the use!” Chorus For she may love the “R” but he adores the five and twenty! Lord Mountararat Now listen here to me, And I know you’ll plainly see Chorus For she has birthed eight kids and she eschews the five and twenty! Maya Gitch made a valiant attempt to bring the Alternate Lyric Concert into the twenty-first century, at the 2025 Last Gasp Cast Bash, by asking ChatGPT to write a synopsis of Iolanthe to the tune of the Act II Finale, “Soon as We May.” The results speak for themselves are reassuring in that artificial intelligence isn’t quite ready to take over the world … at least not in terms of operetta lyrics … yet! The following song was sung by Therese Kulas, Hannah Pantano, Lara Trujillo, Eric Sorum, Andrew Peterson, and Scott Gorman, along with the full Company. Phyllis:
Soon as they swarm,
Wave magic charm!
They’ll take control with sparkly glitter.
Mud in their boots,
Spark in their suits
Low tide or high, the breeze tastes glitter.
Phyllis, Iolanthe, Fairy Queen:
Every, every, every,
Every Peer’s a little pretty!
Though by tradition bows must show
Two feet go beneath each toe
Think of the fuss that wings will bring
If you two wings for every string.
All:
Though by tradition bows must show
Two feet go beneath each toe
Think of the fuss that wings will bring
If you two wings for every string.
Lord Chancellor:
High in the hall,
Fairies enthrall,
Policy in swirling flurries
We rearrange
Wild exchange
Blazing debates with windy worries!
Lord Chancellor, Lord Tolloller, Lord Mountararat:
Blazing, blazing, blazing
Blazing Peers are fairy hazing.
Staff in the air, high-five, high-five,
Crumpets appear on chandlery
Now there is truly cause for cheer,
We’ve got an enchanted fairy near!
All:
Staff in the air, high-five, high-five,
Crumpets appear on chandlery
Now there is truly cause for cheer,
We’ve got an enchanted fairy near!
Eric Pasternack wrote and sang the following alternate lyric song at the 2025 Last Gasp Cast Bash to other tune of the Nightmare Song, in which he described his overall experience of the challenges of performing Iolanthe … particularly as the oldest member of the cast! Yes, Iolanthe robs me of my rest. When I’m lying awake with a dismal headache, Is it early Alzheimer’s or too many Shiners Then the “places” call goes and I put on my clothes Now it’s time for my call and I can’t see at all Then a tantantara a tzing boom and a rah All these dreams are insane and I have them again Scott Gorman wrote and sang the following alternate lyric song to the tune of “When Britian Really Ruled the Waves” at the 2025 Last Gasp Cast Bash, about Lord Mountararat’s inflated ego and the glories of his character … certainly in comparison to his more dim-witted colleagues, the Lord Chancellor and Lord Tolloller, as well as Strephon, Phyllis, the Fairy Queen, and … well … pretty much everyone else!
When Ararat commands the Peers, For he provides the gravitas, Though Tolloller is tall and fair, The Chancellor lays down the law, He states a point, denies it twice, And though the Chancellor loves to shout, When Fairies swarm about the Court, Their Queen starts authoritarian, That Strephon, with his earnest face, When Ararat ascends the floor (a spectacle to see)! For wisdom’s torch I proudly steer, Though Peers deliberate with care, A tradition of the Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company’s annual Last Gasp Cast Bash has become Assistant Stage Manager Malka Key’s performance of a synopsis of the production, sung to the tune of one of the songs from the show. Malka’s contribution in 2016, following the company’s production of Iolanthe, was sung to the tune of the Lord Chancellor’s Nightmare Song … and done entirely from memory! When you’re picking a show, then as some of you know In the meantime the chorus of men come before us. They shake in their shoes at the hideous news To the queen’s great chagrin, all the fairies rush in. The company’s 2016 production of Iolanthe was dazzling … quite literally dazzling with glitter! Glitter was included in the costumes, the props and the makeup. As lovely as it made the production, it did have its downside as, not only was there glitter all over the stage and theater, but company members reported finding glitter everywhere else as well … in their cars, in their homes, in their workplaces and even on their loved ones! The following tribute to the show’s glitter was written by Jo Pasternack and was performed at the Last Gasp Cast Bash by Mackenzie Leavenworth, as Celia, Sarah Mehle, as Lelia, and the women’s chorus. Fairies Glitter hither, glitter thither Celia We are messy little fairies, Fairies Yes, we answer with a titter, with a titter. Leila If you ask us how we clean, Fairies Yes, you must then prove it! One of the many beautiful elements in the company’s 2016 production of Iolanthe were the fairy wings, built with iridescent fabric and piano wire. The wings were attached to the fairies’ costumes and flapped realistically when the fairies danced. As lovely as they were, however, the women’s chorus found them to be something of a challenge as they struggled to move around each other, and everyone and everything else backstage! The following alternate lyric song, written by Holly Windle, described these difficulties and was performed at the 2016 Last Gasp Cast Bash by the Fairy Queen’s understudy, Sarah Shervey and the women’s chorus. The song also made reference to the men’s wings, also built with iridescent fabric and piano wire, which made a surprise appearance in the Act II Finale when the peers transformed into fairies. Fairy Queen Oh, festooned fay – These wings may flap A handicap in narrow space. Oh, narrow space Chorus Oh, narrow space, Fairy Queen Too many wings And at the end, And if perchance We’ll do our dance and sing our tune. Oh, sing a tune. Chorus Oh, sing a tune. Fairy Queen Whate’er our flaws, Chorus Conclusion Ticket sales were very brisk well before the company’s 2016 production of Iolanthe opening. It was clear that the show was going to be well attended and the entire run was, in fact, sold out by the second weekend. Despite this fact, many kept calling the ticketing staff in the hope that maybe … just maybe … there might still be some tickets held in reserve. More than that, some of these tardy audience hopefuls also wanted to make special requests for seating. Sadly, few of these ticket or special requests could be filled. One hopes that it was a lesson learned … Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company productions are very popular. If you want tickets, you’d best order early! This situation was delightfully parodied in the following alternate lyric song, written by Holly Windle and sung by Sarah Wind Richens and the men’s chorus. Phyllis You want six tickets Friday night? Men That’s right! Phyllis But we’re sold out. Men Oh, no! Phyllis No need to pout. Men That’s vile! Phyllis Please do not shout! Men Alack! Phyllis You’ll do without. Men Lovely ticket matron, In the company’s 2016 production of Iolanthe, both Strephon and Phyllis appeared on stage carrying matching stuffed lambs … Strephon’s had a blue ribbon, Phyllis’ had a pink. Of special note, when Sarah Wind Richens, who played Phyllis, and Eric Sargent, who played Strephon, came out for their curtain call at the end of the show, they carried their lambs, which had sprouted small fairy wings, like the rest of the cast! The advantages of carrying stuffed sheep … as opposed to their live counterparts were described in the following alternate lyric song, which was written by Holly Windle and sung by Sarah Wind Richens and Eric Sargent. Strephon If the sheep are sweet, not scary, Phyllis If the sheep are soft, not hairy, Both Ah! Ah! Lambs get nervous nearing Easter. Phyllis Strephon Ram and ewe! Since with jokes of sheep and shepherd Both No, these lambs aren’t ordinary; As Benjamin Franklin once said, “In this world nothing can be certain except for death and taxes.” The Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company might add to that insight, “… yes, that and Waldyn Benbenek playing the role of Lord Mountararrat!” Waldyn, in fact, has played the role of Mountarrart in all four of the company’s productions of Iolanthe, beginning in 1981, 1992, 2004 and, once again, in 2016. This means that he was playing the role before many of the 2016 production cast members were born! This reality, as well as allusions to a few other peculiarities of the 2016 production, were detailed in the following alternate lyric song, written by Holly Windle and sung by Waldyn’s understudy, Alexander Gerchak, and the chorus. Mountararrat I’ve sung this song before, you know. Chorus: Yes, Gilbert’s clever wit’s the thing. Mountararrat Behind me as I sing this song, Chorus: The flags move stealthy hand to hand, Donald Barbee played the Lord Chancellor in our 2004 production of Iolanthe. He was accompanied on stage by eight year old Matthew Benbenek, who played his Trainbearer, and who danced along with him during his opening number, “The Law is the True Embodiment.” The number was well received, not only because of Donald’s excellent performance, but also due to Matthew’s “cute factor.” Holly Windle wrote the following alternate lyric song in acknowledgement of the challenge one faces when appearing with “kids or dogs” on stage. The song was performed at that show’s Last Gasp Cast Bash by Donald’s understudy, Stephen Hage, accompanied by his dancing eight year old daughter, Madeleine. This song has the key ingredients Unpleasant competition for the person who’s playing Lord Chancellor. And anyone who’d caper and prance Just more exasperation for the person who’s playing Lord Chancellor. Directors think it’s a dandy thing Which is another triumph for the person who’s playing Lord Chancellor. “Spurn Not the Nobly Born,” is a song that seems to lend itself particularly well to alternate lyrics. The following alternate lyric song, with its humorous take on the company’s life backstage was written by Tom Berg for the 2016 Last Gasp Cast Bash. It was sung by by Eric Mellum and the men’s chorus. Tolloller I know a place to rest when you are not performing; Chorus Green Room! Green Room! Tolloller Right over here sits Jo, who fixes costume trivia, Chorus Green Room! Green Room! Jim Brooks also used “Spurn Not the Nobly Born,” for his alternate lyric song, focusing on the theme of blood … blue or otherwise! This song was sung at the company’s 2016 Last Gasp Cast Bash by Eric Mellum and the men’s chorus. Tolloller Spurn not the Old Red Cross Give blood! Give blood! Mosquitos tickled pink Chorus Mosquitos tickled pink Tolloller There’s just a little pain Give blood! More blood! We’ll give you juice or pop Chorus We’ll give you juice or pop Along with the cast and production staff, members of the Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company’s orchestra also make their contributions the to the company’s alternate lyric concert. The following song, written by violinist Karen Neinstedt, was sung to the tune of the Act I Finale, beginning with “Henceforth Strephon, Cast Away,” and was performed at the company’s 2016 Last Gasp Cast Bash by both orchestra and cast members. Hallway cases put away In the darkened pit we shall go! In the darkened pit we’re live! In the darkened pit we shall go! In the darkened pit, in the darkened pit |