Sung to the tune of “I Am the Captain of the Pinafore”
Written by James Brooks
Performed by Waldyn Benbenek, accompanied by a chorus including
       Joe Allen, James Brooks, Dumont Darsey, Jonathan Flory, Stephen Hage,
       Jared Mogen, John Orbison and Dave Peichel

Captain:

I’d like to welcome you to Pinafore!

Crew:

And we add our welcome too!

Captain:

Now, I think it only right,
And exceedingly polite,
There is one thing you ought to do.

Crew:

Now, I think it only right,
And exceedingly polite,
There is one thing you ought to do.

Captain:

If you have a phone that’s smart,
Or a Special from Walmart ,
Or an i phone 6 or 3,
So that all enjoy our play,
Turn it off!  Stow it away!
Phones we never want to hear or see.

Crew:

What never?

Captain:

No never!

Crew:

What never?

Captain:

Never ever!!

Crew:

Never ever want to hear or see, then,

All:

Give three cheers and one cheer more,
For cell phone silence on the Pinafore.
It’s rings and dings we all abhor, So….
“Turn ‘em off!”  We say once more.