The Yeomen of the Guard
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It’s often been said the W.S. Gilbert’s plots are complex and can be difficult to follow, not only for the audience but even for cast members who might not be on stage for every plot twist and turn! This might be particularly the case for The Yeomen of the Guard. In response one could, of course, simply read the Synopsis in the program! Another solution, however, might be for there to be a cleverly written summary of the show presented to the cast at the company’s Last Gasp Cast Bash! After our 1999 production of The Yeomen of the Guard, Adena Brumer, who had played Phoebe Meryll, led a number of her fellow cast members in a reading a version of The Yeomen of the Guard as it might have been written by Dr. Seuss, but was actually written by Sharon Brindle, which Adena had found on line. The reading was very well received. For our 2013 production of The Yeomen of the Guard, Stephen Hage located the reading on line again, made a number of revisions and led his fellow performers, as the narrator, in a reading of the piece. The other readers included Lara Trujillo as Phoebe, Stephen Mumbert as Wilfred, Waldyn Benbenek as Meryll, Joshua Kowitz as Fairfax, Jim Ahrens as Lieutenant, Quinn Shadko as Elsie and Jacob Wellington as Point. Once again, it was very well received. ACT I Phoebe: I mope alone and why, oh why, Wilfred: You weep for him to no avail, Phoebe: Well, he’s a stud and you are not! Meryll: You must not weep, you must not weep, Fairfax: One night remains ere head I lose, Lieutenant: Your head will roll – I’ve no reprieve Fairfax: Aha – I’ve something up my sleeve. Elsie: Alas, my mother’s very ill Lieutenant: Will money help? Elsie: It will! It will! Lieutenant: My friend desires a bride to find Elsie: I’m not so sure … Point: Well, I don’t mind! Lieutenant: You need a job? Well, if you’re fun Point: A pretty wit, a pretty wit Lieutenant: A truce to fooling, follow me Meryll: The Colonel’s free, the deed is done Phoebe: To let you die, sir, we could not. Fairfax: Beg pardon … Hey, my “sister’s” hot! Phoebe: Now list, they ring your funeral bell Fairfax: My lord, bad tidings here I bear Lieutenant: What say you, man, he is not there? Wilfred: It was not me, it was not me Elsie: Alas, what am I now to do Point: You think you’re smart to wed a con END OF ACT I ACT II Women: Where is the man? Oh, where is he? Yeomen: Up and down, and in and out, Fairfax: Though I am free from fetters grim Point: My Elsie’s gone to someone new Wilfred: If you make me a jester man Point: You’ll fire a shot and we’ll pretend Wilfred: And I can be a Jumping Jack Fairfax: I now know Elsie is my bride Elsie: What sayest thou? I’m shocked at thee! Meryll: What was that shot? What was that shot? Fairfax: A gun, was my initial thought Wilfred: I fired that arquebus, ’twas me! Point: And all was witnessed by Jack P. Wilfred: I shot this Fairfax through the head Point: And now he’s dead! Wilfred: And now he’s dead! Lieutenant: To find this body now attend Fairfax: Now Elsie fair, I love thee well Phoebe: What do they do? What do they do? Point: You can’t do that! I love her too! Fairfax: Sweet Elsie’s mine, farewell you two … Point and Phoebe: And we can only say, “Boo, hoo!” Wilfred: Your “brother’s” Fairfax, I do declare! Phoebe: Then marry me, you big teddy bear! Elsie: Now ’tis my marriage day, it’s said Lieutenant: But hold, my girl, ’tis not to be Elsie: Oh no! Oh no! What shall I do? Fairfax: I am your husband, look at me Elsie: Oh joy! Oh rapture! It is thee! All: Hurray! Hurray! Oh happy day Point: Since this is writ by Dr. Seuss THE END While we are on the topic of summaries of The Yeomen of the Guard … all were pleased when Malka Key, one of our Assistant Stage Managers, offered her contribution at our 2013 Last Gasp Cast Bash. Malka sang a delightful synopsis of the operetta, to the tune of “A Private Buffoon,” entirely from memory. This was the third time Malka had sung a summary of the plot of the operetta that we had just presented, having done so in 2011 after the company’s production of The Pirates of Penzance and in 2012 after the company’s production of Patience. Well, the thing you should know when you go to see Yeo- At the show’s very start, we learn Phoebe’s young heart To the scene I’ve portrayed come a jester and maid – When the yeomen find out Fairfax fled, without doubt, Fairfax, under the guise of his Leonard disguise, Our company is always pleased when Holly Windle makes an Alternate Lyric contribution and, at the Last Gasp Cast Bash for our 2013 production of The Yeomen of the Guard, she made several. Her first, sung to the tune of “Is Life a Boon,” was in recognition of the fact that almost every man in the 2013 production grew a beard which helped create just the right look for the show. That said, there was some debate as to whether beards are a good thing or not. Perhaps it all depends on the opinion of the one being kissed by the man with the beard! Are beards a boon? Are beards a blight? Holly Windle also wrote an Alternate Lyric song for the 2013 Last Gasp Cast Bash for our 2013, in recognition of the number of understudies who had to “go on” in place of principals who became ill during our production of The Yeomen of the Guard. Sung to the tune of “Oh, Sergeant Meryll, Is It True?” the song made mention of Laura Bidgood, our Stage Manager, who’s task it was to call the understudies to let them know that they were “going on,” and featured a solo by L. Peter Erickson, who was Sergeant Meryll’s understudy … but was also one of the few who didn’t have to “go on!” Yeomen: Oh, Laura Bidgood, tell us quick And so, begins the flurry Meryll Understudy: We understudies, poised for that alarm, Yeomen: Understudies, understudies: Following our 1999 production of The Yeomen of the Guard, Holly Windle wrote an Alternate Lyric song to the tune of “Rapture, Rapture” which explored the mixed emotions of a show’s closing. The song was sung by Waldyn Benbenek and Lynne Hicks, that production’s Sergeant Meryll and Dame Carruthers. Holly offered the song again at our 2013 Last Gasp Cast Bash where it was sung, once again, by Waldyn Benbenek, along with Deb Haas. Dame Carruthers: Happy, happy! Sergeant Meryll: Dismal, dismal! Dame Carruthers: Carefree, carefree! Sergeant Meryll: Woeful, woeful! Dame Carruthers: Carefree, carefree! Sergeant Meryll: Woeful, woeful! Dame Carruthers: Carefree, carefree! Sergeant Meryll: Woeful, woeful! Both: Carefree, carefree, carefree, carefree, carefree! Dame Carruthers: Sergeant Meryll: Happy, happy! Dismal, dismal! Happy, happy! Happy, happy, happy, happy! Dismal, dismal, dismal, dismal! Call time slavery, All that flattering Holly Windle also wrote a new Alternate Lyric song for the 2013 Last Gasp Cast Bash which discussed the show’s closing. It was sung to the tune of “Where Upon We’re Both Agreed” by Anthony Rohr, the understudy for Jack Point, and Zach Garcia, the understudy for Wilfred Shadboldt. Both: Hereupon we’ve reached the end Point: No more deadly swords to pierce Wilfred: And the headsman’s axe so fierce — Point: Sentimental! Wilfred: Just a rental! Point: Sentimental! Wilfred: Just a rental! Both: Just a rental, sentimental, just a rental. Sing a song ridiculous, Both: How we yearned for wearing red. Point: With the block, our work was key. Wilfred: For a juggling club or three. Point: Never mind us. Wilfred: That’s behind us. Point: Never mind us. Wilfred: That’s behind us. Both: That’s behind us – never mind us – that’s behind us. Sing a song ridiculous, Point: You can bring the ark. Wilfred: Better take the bus. Point: You can bring the ark. Wilfred: Better take the bus. Both: What we want’s an arquebus, arquebus, arquebus! Not all the contributions to the alternate lyric concert are necessarily alternate lyrics! A wonderful example of this was our Director, Lesley Hendrickson’s contribution at the 2013 Last Gasp Cast Bash. She wrote a scene to follow at the end of The Yeomen of the Guard, featuring the Second City Network’s character, the Sassy Gay Friend. The scene featured Quinn Shadko as Elsie Maynard, Jacob Wellington as the dead Jack Point and Anthony Rohr as Elsie’s Sassy Gay Friend. Lesley introduced the piece, declaring that as the chorus sings the final measures of The Yeoman of the Guard, Act II Finale, Jack dies in Elsie’s arms. But before the final chord is finished, we hear a voiceover: ANNOUNCER: This is Elsie of Gilbert & Sullivan’s The Yeoman of the Guard. She’s wracked with guilt over the death of the man she cruelly spurned. All of this could have been avoided if only she’d had a Sassy Gay Friend. SGF: What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing? Disco music, SGF dancing SGF : Elsie, what were you thinking? Elsie: I don’t know. I’m married to … Leonard … no Fairfax … no Leonard … some SGF: Now I’m confused. At least let’s get you away from the dead body until I can Elsie: Oh, heavens! Jack’s really dead! And I laughed at him! Aloud! Oh, god, SGF: Oh, honey, you know as well as I do that the (air quotes) “best used by” date Elsie: I guess you’re right. But I’m still married to this… Fairfax … Leonard … SGF: Yeah, about that. There’s a name for girls who marry for money, and that’s Elsie: But Fairfax was to have died. And he did not die. And now my heart is SGF: Oh, sure. Your heart was so broken that you were ready to marry another guy Elsie: But he was so sweet to me, while Jack was being all pissy and clingy … SGF: Elsie, Elsie, Elsie. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with your gaydar, but your Elsie: Oh, thank you. SGF: What color would you call that? Elsie: Champagne. SGF: Well, it was stunning. Elsie: But it was all a horrible, horrible mistake. I should have stayed with Jack, and SGF: You’ve got to stop beating yourself up. This thing with Jack – it never would Now, dry those tears (Ooo, next time you should get the waterproof mascara) A beat. He looks at Jack, still sprawled on the floor. SGF: Oh, Jack. She’s gone. You can get up now. He helps Jack up. With arms around each other, they head off in the opposite direction. SGF: She’s just a stupid bitch! Disco Music Prior to our 2013 production of The Yeomen of the Guard, the United States Postal Service changed its rules regarding bulk mailing. Unfortunately, The Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company didn’t get the memo! As a result, our bulk mailed flyers were prepared incorrectly and could not be mailed. We decided, however, that it didn’t matter. After all, almost everyone who would have received a flyer had also received an email with all of the necessary information about the production and ordering tickets. As Opening Night approached, however, we began to realize that something was very wrong. Our ticket sales were significantly lower than usual! It became clear that our generally older audience did not respond to our emails and apparently needed the mailed flyers in order to purchase tickets. With a ticket sales crisis at hand, we decided that we had to mail the flyers first class. Almost immediately, the remaining nights sold out! We had learned a valuable lesson … the flyers must be mailed! The following alternate lyric song was sung, by the company, to the tune of “All Frenzied, Frenzied with Despair.” All frenzied, frenzied with despair they wail, Research, research has shown that older folk As a result of the company’s bulk mailing fiasco during our 2013 production of The Yeomen of the Guard, with many of the performances during our first two weekends far from sold out, the company had to consider the fact that the operetta was going to do much less well financially than we had anticipated. Our hope turned … at least in good humor … to the sale of our promotional items, championed by Mary Gregory! The following alternate lyric song was written by Jim Brooks and sung by Waldyn Benbenek, Missy Griffen, Deb Haas and Joshua Kowitz, to the tune of “Strange Adventure,” in appreciation for Mary’s good efforts! Odd occurrence, first two weekends, If this half-full house continues, We must sell more Yeomen treasure, Odd occurrence, we have sweatshirts! And yes, hoodies, buy two, won’t hurt! Buy ‘em quick and do not tarry. The Grand Duke! The Grand Duke! While most of our alternate lyric songs are contributed by cast members, our orchestra members also enjoy getting into the act! The follow song was written by Nancy Birth and Karen Neinstadt, two of our second violin players, to the tune of “I Have a Song to Sing, O,” humorously bemoaning the fact that their part in that song was, perhaps, not the most interesting. Rather than performing their song at the Last Gasp Cast Bash, however, they asked the cast to sing the piece, on stage before the show, during one of the final warm ups, while they accompanied the cast, playing their somewhat monotonous part on their violins. I have a note to play-O! It is played to the moon, Hades, Hades, I have a note to play-O, It’s a sound with the tone Hades, Hades, There are moments during the run of any production when a cast member might begin to think that they’d really rather be elsewhere … especially if they could be elsewhere with a beer in hand! |
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The following alternate lyric was sung by the company to the tune of “Night Has Spread Her Pall Once More,” with a refrain, sung to the tune of “The Beer Barrel Polka.” This alternate lyric song was unique in the history of the company’s Last Gasp Cast Bash … as it was accompanied by Wally Benbenek, on the accordion. Yes, we knew that Wally was Polish … we just didn’t realize how Polish he was! Night has spread her pall once more Night has spread her pall once more And a 1 and a 2… Night has spread her pall once more and the prisoner’s stil Open is his dungeon door, use less his dungeon key He has shaken off his yoke, how no mortal man can tell Shame on lou tish jailorfo-olk Shame on sleepy sentinel Shout: Chorus are we! |
Wally on accordion …
Rolling out the barrel!
For the gang’s all here! |
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Our Costume Mistress, Jo Pasternack, is a regular Alternate Lyric song contributor. For our 2013 Last Gasp Cast Bash, Jo shared a song, sung to the tune of “Night Has Spread Her Pall Once More,” which celebrated the miracles she had to do in order to make the costumes fit the several understudies who had to go on during the run of the show, as well as the general costume repairs that take place during any show. Along with members of the chorus, this song was sung by Johna Miller, understudy for Elsie Maynard, Michael Burton, understudy for Colonel Fairfax, Zach Garcia, understudy for Wilfred Shadboldt and Deb Haas, our Dame Carruthers … whose understudy did not have to go on! Women: Jo has thread and pins once more, Johna: And the costume fits me. Women: She’s taken a size forty-four, Michael & Zach: H’ray! She made it fit me well! Deb: Actors are you, what do ye wear? Chorus: Actors are you, what do ye wear? Men: Up and down, and in and out. Here and there, and roundabout; Women: Actors are you, What do ye wear? Men: Ev’ry cloak, ev’ry shirt, all grosgrain, Women: Men: Actors are you, What do ye wear: Ev’ry cloak, ev’ry shirt, All: Twenty three! Twenty three! Pretty actors are ye! In most productions of The Yeomen of the Guard, it is inevitably the case that the Yeomen will be occasionally blocked to stand in front of the Townspeople during the full chorus numbers. That was certainly the case in our 2013 production, in which our six foot plus chorus of Yeomen often stood in front of the five foot something chorus women. A number of our Townswomen commented on that situation in the following Alternate Lyric song, written by Shawn Holt, at the 2013 Last Gasp Cast Bash, sung to the tune of “I Have a Song to Sing, O!” I’m from the port of short, O! What do you see, O? I see the backs of the men standing six feet ten, I’m acting my ass off, it’s so dumb. When I look up I see their bums and I know that no one can see me. Heigh-dy, heigh-dy! The following alternate lyric song was in recognition of some of the problems we faced during our 2013 production of The Yeomen of the Guard, including the fact that it was a miserably cold, wet spring, as well as the fact that there were scheduling conflicts with others using the same backstage spaces as us. The result was that it was more necessary and more difficult than usual for the company to hold warm ups before the shows. This song was sung by Deb Haas as Dame Carruthers and members of the chorus, to the tune of “Night Has Spread Her Pall Once More.” Women Spring has brought another play, We arrive to set the scene. Dame Carruthers Singers are ye? Where shall ye sing? Your throats are cold so you sing flat in G! Women Pretty singers are we! Where can we sing? Men Up and down and in and out, Holly’s lyrics for the “Hail,” Women Singers are we! Where can we sing? Men Every door, we implored, every stair, Women Singers are we! Where can we sing? Men Every entrance every classroom we have searched but it’s not fair! Women Men Spring has brought another Singers are we. Where can we sing? All Flat in G! Flat in E! Women Pretty singers are we! All Flat in D! Flat in C! The Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company had waited some years until they felt that they were up for the challenge of staging The Yeomen of the Guard, with its more complex music and more serious storyline. The Company finally chose to stage the operetta for the first time in 1987. They rose to the challenges and the production was a wonderful success. In celebration of that success, the Company sang the following alternate lyric song during the final weekend of the run, to the tune of “Here’s a Man of Jollity.” Here’s a show of quality, Pondering judicially, Soloists sing thrillingly, Face with equanimity: Final week intensity – Face with equanimity: |