The Mikado

Sung to the tune of “If You Want to Know Who We Are,” this alternate lyric song was intended to celebrate the “beverage of choice” at all of our company’s cast parties! 

It was first performed at the company’s Spring 1996 Last Gasp Cast Bash, and again in 2007. 

It was performed on both occasions by the men of the chorus.

If you want to know who we are,
We are gentlemen who drink beer.
To drink from a pint-sized jar,
We will readily volunteer.

We drink it at hours late.
We drink it at half-past eight.
We purchase it in large crates.  OH!

If you think we can’t drink and sing,
You are terribly incorrect.
You don’t understand these things.
There is simply no etiquette.

Extensive research has shown,
When beer is consumed at home,
The thing we like best is foam.  FOAM!  FOAM!
The thing we like best is foam!

If you want to know who we are,
We are gentlemen who drink beer.
From pint-sized jars, we’d vol-un-teer to drink
many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many-a-beer. 
SKOL!  SKOL!  SKOL!  SKOL!

And now we’ll go and drink more beer!

Our company has a long standing tradition of cast parties or pot lucks following almost every performance.  Charged with adrenaline, the company arrives at the event and everyone eats far too much food!  This alternate lyric song, to the tune of “Three Little Maids From School,” was written in recognition of this tradition … and its consequences! 

It was first performed at the Spring 1996 Last Gasp Cast Bash, by Amy Gunderson, Kathy Hering and Julie Parshall, and again in 2007, by Betsie Feldkamp, Kristen Husby and Sarah Wind.

Three little maids with food are we,
Plump as a school-girl well can be,
Filled to the brim with MSG,
Three little maids with food!

     Cookies and cakes and pies galore.

     My favorite place is the grocery store!

     I’m still hungry … I want more!

Three little maids with food!

Three little maids with great big bellies,
Frequent the local grocer’s delis,
Craving confections filled with jellies

Three little maids with food!
Three little maids with food!

     I want lasagna filled with cheese,

     Make mine popcorn, butter please,

     I want chocolate – to hell with these!

Three little maids with food!

     Give me a piggy on a stick,

     Beef Wellington would be a hit,

     Yorkshire pudding and lots of it!

Three little maids with food!
Three little maids with food!

Three little maids who never tarry,
When eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s,
Three little maids who you can’t carry!

Three little maids with food!
Three little maids with food!

Jim Brooks wrote the following alternate lyric, to the tune of “Three Little Maids From School Are We,” in honor of another famous trio!  Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!

The song was performed at the Company’s 2007 production of The Mikado, by Jim Brooks, Wally Benebenek and Mark Alt.

All:

Tree little yutes from school is us,
We like to swear and fight and cuss.
We’ve just been thrown off the school bus,
Tree little yutes from school!

Wally:

I like to make the teacher mad! (giggle)

Mark:

I get a kick out of being bad! (guffaw)

Jim:

I got whupped cause they called my dad! (crying)

All:

Tree little yutes from school!

Tree little yutes, you all be wary,

Mark:

My name is Curly …

Wally:

… Moe …

Jim:

… and Larry

All:

Bound for the penitentiary,
Tree little yutes from school.
Tree little yutes from school!

Wally, pointing to Mark:

He flunked math, couldn’t find the sum!

Mark, making a fist:

I popped him cause he called me dumb!

Jim, dismissive gesture to Mark:

Pay no attention, he’s a bum!

All

Tree little yutes from school!

Wally, pointing to Mark:

Oh!  He was suspended yesterday!

Mark:

I plugged the toilets, what the hey!

Jim:

We watched the teacher float away!

All:

Tree little yutes from school,
Tree little yutes from school!

Tree little yutes, you all be wary,

Mark:

My name is Curly …

Wally:

… Moe …

Jim:

…and Larry!

All

Bound for the penitentiary,
Tree little yutes from school,
Tree little yutes from school!