The Gondoliers

As we all know, the rigors of long rehearsals and full performance schedules can take its toll on performers and their health.  This was certainly the case during the company’s 1995 production of The Gondoliers.

This minor health crisis … and the complexity of the production’s choreography! … were celebrated by James Brooks in the following song, sung to the tune of “Dance a Cachuca,” and performed at the Last Gasp Cast Bash by members of the company.

All:

We sneeze, “Achoo!”  ‘cause we’ve got bad congestion!
Shari said, “Rest!” but we shunned her suggestion.
Our noses run in abundance and chance is,
We’ll never remember those infernal dances!

Women:

Left or right, I think I’ll choose the latter,
But it doesn’t really really matter.
Doesn’t really matter,
If I choose the latter,
Cold is getting badder,
Doesn’t really matter.

Men:

Right or left, I think I’ll choose the latter,
But it doesn’t really really matter.

Women:

Cold is getting badder,
Doesn’t really matter,
Can’t do this dance!

All:

Oh, Shari said, “Drink lots of fluids and always,
Wash hands after touching another’s!”
We know that she’s right,
But rebel just for spite ‘cause we’ve heard those words come from our mothers!
We rebel in spite!

We sneeze, “Achoo!” ‘cause we’ve got  bad congestion.
Shari said, “Sing!” but we raised an objection,
Our notes aren’t clear, they’re incredibly muddy.
I hope they’ve recruited forty understudies!

Oh, Shari said, “Don’t stay too late at the parties!”
But, leaving was hard to decide, Aahh!
Forget Gondoliers but we know we’ll be ready for Ida.
Sick now, but we know we’ll be better by I – da!